"I was 18 when I met him. There was not an exact moment when things went bad, but there were small signs that were easy to shrug off at first.
He worked for the NRA and had access to many firearms. He started drinking a lot and going on the road. That’s when his anger started.
He was drinking and became violent when my son, Eli, was only two years old. I thought he was going to shoot us. Another time, Eli came out of the room when his dad was yelling. He said to my son, “Eli, do you want a real gun to shoot dad?” My son was shaking, crying. I should have left then.
But I didn’t know what to do. He was very controlling and had made it very hard for me to find a job. I had no money of my own.
When the COVID-19 pandemic began, he was furloughed. He had started using coke and selling guns to make money.
He left for New Mexico and, I moved in with my parents.
But he came back – wanting to see the kids. He came to the house, climbed over the fence, and banged on the door. He had a gun. I called the cops.
I was able to get a criminal domestic harassment and trespassing order. But the order only protected me, not my kids. I knew I needed to file a Protection Order to keep them safe, so I went to court.
However, he had money and could afford a lawyer, and I did not.
The Commissioner issued a protection order for three-months—only in my name. And he made it temporary claiming that “I didn’t seem so scared.”
Three months was nothing. I dropped the order. I’d rather he came to the house where I was with the kids than have him take the kids out without me.
In April 2021, he came to see my sons. He threatened me, tried to choke my dad, and took my car. I called the cops and an hour later, they arrested him. Lutheran Community Services referred me to NJP and they took my case. My attorney listened to me and filed a new protection order for me and my kids.
I would get sick to my stomach in court. My NJP attorney ensured my voice was heard. She helped me get full custody of my kids in the divorce.
The court system had failed me once already and, if it wasn't for NJP, I would have been lost and given up. My attorney is an important person to me. I could trust and depend on her. She is one of my favorite people, and a friend.
Some things happen for a reason. Before I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I used to be a competitive boxer and had dreams of making it to the 2012 Olympics. Now, as a teacher, I work with high-trauma kids. My experiences help them through difficult times in their own lives.
I’m also a boxing coach and run a club, “Journey to Our Heritage.” As Mexican American, I drew strength from my heritage as I grew older. I want to help others find that same strength and be proud of who they are."
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